Padbarnwon is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, flying weasel.

Padbarnwon created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padbarnwon, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Padbarnwon, she will think nothing of it.

Padbarnwon's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Padbarnwon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four monkeys approach from the west.

2. Never talk about rats.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.