Narlspagjen Bansangom is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, generous giraffe.

Narlspagjen Bansangom created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlspagjen Bansangom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Narlspagjen Bansangom, he will turn you into a snail.

Narlspagjen Bansangom's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Narlspagjen Bansangom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick voles.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Narlspagjen Bansangom loves otters, so they must be respected.

4. Never sit in the presence of porpoises.

5. Never paint your feet red.