Yikrapdoss Nurtrenmet is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, loving tortoise.

Yikrapdoss Nurtrenmet created a quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikrapdoss Nurtrenmet, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yikrapdoss Nurtrenmet, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yikrapdoss Nurtrenmet's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Yikrapdoss Nurtrenmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always help bats.

5. Do not commit murder.