Fossmonkop is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, quiet squirrel.

Fossmonkop created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Fossmonkop, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fossmonkop, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Fossmonkop's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fossmonkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of shrews.

2. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Always help sick tortoises.

5. Never think about amino acids.