Pidsadster is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless gerbil.

Pidsadster created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Pidsadster, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pidsadster, she will turn you into a puffin.

Pidsadster's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Pidsadster's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

4. Never mention nematodes.

5. Do not take Pidsadster's name in vain.