Cabzagdog is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, egotistical aardvark.

Cabzagdog created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabzagdog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cabzagdog, it will cry a lot.

Cabzagdog's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Cabzagdog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cabzagdog.