Dotzen is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, temperamental bear.

Dotzen created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dotzen, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dotzen, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dotzen's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Dotzen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four tortoises approach from the north.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Put Dotzen first in all things.

5. Never play with disobedient children.