Flagfenab Rakfarmum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witless bee.

Flagfenab Rakfarmum created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagfenab Rakfarmum, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flagfenab Rakfarmum, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Flagfenab Rakfarmum's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Flagfenab Rakfarmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands violet.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.