Quagpadgem is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, almighty goat.

Quagpadgem created the Milkyway twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quagpadgem, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quagpadgem, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quagpadgem's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Quagpadgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Hide if seven tapirs approach from the south.

3. Erect six nickel sculptures of Quagpadgem on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.