Vidpakpascentiptinbogmid Canlarnhan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, conceited human.

Vidpakpascentiptinbogmid Canlarnhan created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidpakpascentiptinbogmid Canlarnhan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vidpakpascentiptinbogmid Canlarnhan, he will send you a sign.

Vidpakpascentiptinbogmid Canlarnhan's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Vidpakpascentiptinbogmid Canlarnhan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect eight tin sculptures of Vidpakpascentiptinbogmid Canlarnhan on top of important buildings.

3. Never talk about snails.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.