Honbadzenxucfetbusxin Bastkimbem is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous hippopotamus.

Honbadzenxucfetbusxin Bastkimbem created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Honbadzenxucfetbusxin Bastkimbem, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Honbadzenxucfetbusxin Bastkimbem, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Honbadzenxucfetbusxin Bastkimbem's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Honbadzenxucfetbusxin Bastkimbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

4. Always help tortoises.

5. Always stare at clouds.