Flagarndam is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, charitable gnu.

Flagarndam created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flagarndam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flagarndam, he will manifest in front of you.

Flagarndam's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Flagarndam's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Run away if nine rats approach from the south.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Never wear blue shorts.

5. Never eat pineapples.