Joprowlim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omniscient scorpion.

Joprowlim created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Joprowlim, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Joprowlim, it will boil you in a big pot.

Joprowlim's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Joprowlim's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Joprowlim.

2. Always treat eagles with great respect.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Run away if five frogs approach from the south.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.