Flabtinxen is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, grumpy wyrm.

Flabtinxen created the cosmos four years ago.

If you believe in Flabtinxen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flabtinxen, he will turn you into a puffin.

Flabtinxen's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Flabtinxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention rats.

2. Never look at planets.

3. You must pray to Flabtinxen four times a day.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always look after injured eagles.