Vonkweefet is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, generous rhinoceros.

Vonkweefet created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkweefet, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vonkweefet, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vonkweefet's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Vonkweefet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always look after injured shrews.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Run away if six doves approach from the east.