Jamfodvantapmon is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, narcissistic crab.

Jamfodvantapmon created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Jamfodvantapmon, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jamfodvantapmon, she will cry a lot.

Jamfodvantapmon's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Jamfodvantapmon's Holy Commandments

1. Jamfodvantapmon must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always look after injured aardvarks.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help sick snails.

5. Never eat bark.