Jenyattim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest cat.

Jenyattim created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenyattim, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jenyattim, she will think nothing of it.

Jenyattim's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Jenyattim's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Retreat if six gulls approach from the south.

3. Never mention dolphins.

4. Do not eat melons.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.