Stanpidbessmetpop is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, two-faced narwhal.

Stanpidbessmetpop created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stanpidbessmetpop, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Stanpidbessmetpop, she will send minions to preach to you.

Stanpidbessmetpop's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Stanpidbessmetpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must love Stanpidbessmetpop.

4. Hide from turquoise monkeys for they are unholy.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.