Jopomtmon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, fussy centipede.

Jopomtmon created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jopomtmon, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jopomtmon, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Jopomtmon's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Jopomtmon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not take Jopomtmon's name in vain.