Vogfarnbap is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, egotistical meerkat.

Vogfarnbap created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogfarnbap, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vogfarnbap, he will turn you into a rock.

Vogfarnbap's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Vogfarnbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Never play with disobedient children.