Sissismil Matvagtip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, moody hippopotamus.

Sissismil Matvagtip created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sissismil Matvagtip, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sissismil Matvagtip, she will be very unhappy.

Sissismil Matvagtip's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Sissismil Matvagtip's Holy Commandments

1. Put Sissismil Matvagtip first in all things.

2. Never hurt porpoises.

3. You must love Sissismil Matvagtip.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

5. Do not shave your feet.