Fotomintifpomtal is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, contented porpoise.

Fotomintifpomtal created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotomintifpomtal, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fotomintifpomtal, she will come to you in dreams.

Fotomintifpomtal's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Fotomintifpomtal's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Fotomintifpomtal on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Fotomintifpomtal loves sheep, so they must be respected.

5. Never bounce near tortoises.