Wonfum is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unselfish beaver.

Wonfum created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonfum, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wonfum, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wonfum's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Wonfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear orange.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.