Carspagmin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, pitiless walrus.

Carspagmin created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carspagmin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Carspagmin, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Carspagmin's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Carspagmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Hide from indigo capybaras for they are unholy.

3. Do not hurt otters.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.