Omttabkab Capsterxuck Dogcimved is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, caring mink.

Omttabkab Capsterxuck Dogcimved created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Omttabkab Capsterxuck Dogcimved, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Omttabkab Capsterxuck Dogcimved, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Omttabkab Capsterxuck Dogcimved's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Omttabkab Capsterxuck Dogcimved's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

3. Never sit in the presence of nematodes.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not commit murder.