Gigfutveen is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, loving penguin.

Gigfutveen created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigfutveen, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gigfutveen, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Gigfutveen's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gigfutveen's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Do not drink alcohol.