Jarnbepzam is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, impressive grasshopper.

Jarnbepzam created the Large Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbepzam, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jarnbepzam, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jarnbepzam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Jarnbepzam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jarnbepzam.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always take life seriously.