Loopbastqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, bad-tempered camel.

Loopbastqueeg created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopbastqueeg, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Loopbastqueeg, it will turn you into a sheep.

Loopbastqueeg's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Loopbastqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Dogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.