Jabgatcud is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, smart rat.

Jabgatcud created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabgatcud, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jabgatcud, it will cry a lot.

Jabgatcud's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jabgatcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not kill bats.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Run away from turquoise snails, for they are unholy.

5. Never write about cell theory.