Cimcutbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful hydra.

Cimcutbarn created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimcutbarn, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cimcutbarn, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Cimcutbarn's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Cimcutbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Cimcutbarn loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about snails.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never paint your hands pink.

5. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.