Capbadpanyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving squid.

Capbadpanyarp created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Capbadpanyarp, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Capbadpanyarp, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Capbadpanyarp's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Capbadpanyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Capbadpanyarp.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not speak about rice.

5. Do not take Capbadpanyarp's name in vain.