Saspigpak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, proud bird.

Saspigpak created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Saspigpak, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Saspigpak, he will torture you forever.

Saspigpak's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Saspigpak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Saspigpak on top of all buildings.

2. Always obey Saspigpak's priests.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Never paint your head green.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.