Gepstigyar is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, effective jaguar.

Gepstigyar created gold seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepstigyar, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gepstigyar, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gepstigyar's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gepstigyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Run away if six ducks approach from the east.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.