Honsomkad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, grumpy human.

Honsomkad created parasitic wasps three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honsomkad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Honsomkad, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Honsomkad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Honsomkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Honsomkad.

3. Honsomkad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.