Fligflantar is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, idiotic jaguar.

Fligflantar created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligflantar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fligflantar, she will come to you in dreams.

Fligflantar's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Fligflantar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never mention grasshopers.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fligflantar.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Always stare at clouds.