Sawlagxem is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, effective fish.

Sawlagxem created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawlagxem, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sawlagxem, it will laugh at you.

Sawlagxem's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sawlagxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Worship no other gods but Sawlagxem.

3. Always help doves.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not jump in public.