Hincatshav Ortkadtip is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-confident beaver.

Hincatshav Ortkadtip created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hincatshav Ortkadtip, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hincatshav Ortkadtip, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hincatshav Ortkadtip's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Hincatshav Ortkadtip's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never hurt rats.