Cussbenxenquat Badpognig is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring spider.

Cussbenxenquat Badpognig created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Cussbenxenquat Badpognig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cussbenxenquat Badpognig, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Cussbenxenquat Badpognig's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Cussbenxenquat Badpognig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Cussbenxenquat Badpognig.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.