Vonmobbenxemcibpan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, duplicitous fairy.

Vonmobbenxemcibpan created a bottom quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vonmobbenxemcibpan, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vonmobbenxemcibpan, it will make you grow a tail.

Vonmobbenxemcibpan's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Vonmobbenxemcibpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about voles.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.