Fettoflarpfligratjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent crocodile.

Fettoflarpfligratjarn created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fettoflarpfligratjarn, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fettoflarpfligratjarn, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fettoflarpfligratjarn's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Fettoflarpfligratjarn's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat grapes.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never eat peas.

4. Put Fettoflarpfligratjarn first in all things.

5. Sharks are not to be trusted.