Lanpaspidrot Hottonklip Cimcutlat is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unselfish owl.

Lanpaspidrot Hottonklip Cimcutlat created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanpaspidrot Hottonklip Cimcutlat, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lanpaspidrot Hottonklip Cimcutlat, it will torture you forever.

Lanpaspidrot Hottonklip Cimcutlat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Lanpaspidrot Hottonklip Cimcutlat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Retreat if three tapirs approach from the east.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.