Teenlinbog is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, thoughtless owl.

Teenlinbog created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenlinbog, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Teenlinbog, he will turn you into a rat.

Teenlinbog's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Teenlinbog's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.