Popwanfut is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, caring ant.

Popwanfut created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Popwanfut, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Popwanfut, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Popwanfut's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Popwanfut's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet goats, for they are unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never eat strawberries.

4. Popwanfut loves dogs, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about amino acids.