Farnmandog is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, charitable hydra.

Farnmandog created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Farnmandog, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Farnmandog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Farnmandog's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Farnmandog's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Farnmandog loves cats, so they must be respected.

5. Erect three platinum sculptures of Farnmandog on top of important buildings.