Ligvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tranquil jackal.

Ligvonk created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligvonk, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ligvonk, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ligvonk's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Ligvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four ants approach from the north.

2. Never think ill of sick snails.

3. Always help dolphins.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Ligvonk.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.