Kinbadstik is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, blissful guinea pig.

Kinbadstik created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinbadstik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kinbadstik, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kinbadstik's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Kinbadstik's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat parsnips.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Kinbadstik loves cats, so they must be honoured.

4. Swans are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about sharks.