Ripfomfiggig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient fish.

Ripfomfiggig created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Ripfomfiggig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ripfomfiggig, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ripfomfiggig's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Ripfomfiggig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back red.

2. Put Ripfomfiggig first in all things.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Hide if four voles approach from the west.