Jignarbep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, bad-tempered dolphin.

Jignarbep created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jignarbep, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jignarbep, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jignarbep's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Jignarbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Worship no other gods but Jignarbep.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jignarbep.

5. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.