Quagvonksit is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, amazing deer.

Quagvonksit created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quagvonksit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quagvonksit, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Quagvonksit's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Quagvonksit's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Run away if five snails approach from the west.

4. You must love Quagvonksit.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.