Yartstergan Satfarnpog Jamyakxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish camel.

Yartstergan Satfarnpog Jamyakxuc created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Yartstergan Satfarnpog Jamyakxuc, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yartstergan Satfarnpog Jamyakxuc, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Yartstergan Satfarnpog Jamyakxuc's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yartstergan Satfarnpog Jamyakxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.